Can you guess what these people they have in common?

*A Chief Information Officer who just immigrated to the United States

*A female partner who was recently named managing director at a prestigious law firm

*An African American first year medical student

All are highly intelligent. All are objectively successful in their chosen career paths. And yet, each one struggles with “Imposter Syndrome”.

Imposter Syndrome is the fear of being found out as a fraud, that an individual isn’t as competent as others think they are. According to the International Journal of Behavioral Sciences, most of us (70 %) experience this feeling at some point in our lives. But when this feeling becomes a chronic condition, it causes us to take fewer risks, prepare excessively, and even become paralyzed – unable to complete important tasks. Imposter Syndrome creates a self-fulfilling loop of never feeling good enough.

If feeling like a fraud is challenging your own sense of self-worth, here are three strategies that you can use right way:

1)    Brain Dump of Accomplishments

Make a list of all your accomplishments. Write everything down – it all counts. You don’t have to be perfect at it, get an “A”, or win a prize. If you accomplished it, even if you had some help or the competition wasn’t that strong, it goes on the list. Every accomplishment that comes to mind, big or small – goes on that list.

Some folks struggle with this exercise, particularly if they are focused on their shortcomings, so we suggest they get a friend who knows them well to help them complete it. This exercise can shift your mindset from focusing on the idea that you do not measure up, to focusing on all things you have accomplished. Shifting our attention to our hard earned successes is one way to turn down the volume of feeling like a fraud.

2)   Choose a GROWTH mindset

When we are stuck in imposter mode, we are operating with a Fixed mindset. This means that we think in black and white terms. “ I’m either good at it or not.” Or “I am either the smartest or I’m not smart”. A Growth mindset allows us to see possibility. “I can learn anything I put my mind too.” In imposter mode, we have an intense desire to to appear smart, so our fixed mindset causes us to avoid challenges and give up when presented with an obstacle  With a growth mindset, we seek out challenges, view obstacles at temporary setbacks, and see learning as a human process we all go through. The good news is that we can intentionally and consciously choose a growth mindset. The trick is to first notice that we are stuck in a fixed mindset, so we can move to our growth mindset. Notice when you are thinking in absolutes, i.e. “I will never be able to sing well” and switch to “I can’t sing well YET”. The word “Yet” directly connects us to our Growth mindset.

3)    You Belong Here

Hidden beneath our imposter syndrome is the idea that we don’t belong. And if we are a member of a minority group, for example, a woman in a male dominated field such as law or an African American in a primarily white medical school, this feeling of “not belonging” is exacerbated. We look around, and we do not see people who look like us. Researchers Watson and Cohn studied feelings of “belonging” with 92 African Americans in their first year of college. They split the students into two groups. The experimental group read an essay on belonging, then wrote their own essay describing their journey of belonging, including why they felt that they belonged at their college now. The control group read information on extracurricular activities. Over their four years in college, students in the belonging group had dramatically increased their GPA compared to the students in the control.  When we feel like we belong, we perform better. So try this yourself: write your own essay of belonging. Trace your journey, your ups and downs and conclude with why you feel you belong now. Let all the evidence that you belong here sink in.

Imposter Syndrome prevents us from performing at our highest potential. Give these strategies a try because you deserve to feel good about what you have accomplished and look forward to tackling new challenges.

Resources

Clance, P.R., & Imes, S.A. (1978). The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Interventions. Psychotherapy: Theory Research and Practice, 15, 241247

Jaruwan Sakulku, J., and Alexander, J. (2011). The Impostor Phenomenon. International Journal of Behavioral Science, 6(1), 73-92.

G. M. Walton, G. L. Cohen, A brief social-belonging intervention improves academic and health outcomes of minority students. Science 331, 1447–1451 (2011).

The post Feeling like an Imposter? Three tips that can help immediately appeared first on DKS Consulting Group.

Like many of us, it is an understatement to say that I was surprised by the results of our last presidential election.  In fact, I was heartsick.

I was not mentally prepared for the immediate psychological toll of shock and grief – which eventually morphed into anger. The shock of the 2016 election results sent me reeling for quite a few weeks before I could find my bearings and channel my fury into positive action.

This time, I want to be prepared for whatever the outcome, and I am tapping into a few psychological strategies to help me through.

Active Optimism –  Psychological research on resilience tells us that although we may experience a catastrophic outcome, we can bounce back more quickly if we envision a positive future (optimism) AND believe we have the capability to act on our own behalf.

You can do this too.

After the election on November 3rd, in the spirit of active optimism, I plan to attend a training to help more women get elected to public office.  Can you imagine a positive outcome or event that you can engage in immediately following the election and envision yourself participating in that event?

Adopt The Longview – One strategy that has calmed me down when I have done too much “doomscrolling” is to remember that this is a moment in time.  We have had over 200 years of a democracy that has progressively become more just and inclusive. We survived the presidency of James Buchanen who fueled the intense polarization which led to the Civil War, and the prolific corruption of Warren Harding.  If you can focus on a long view and hold on to a historical perspective, you may be able to view this current situation as a moment in time, and hopefully –this too shall pass.

Find Your People– After the 2016 election, I found comfort and solace connecting with people who shared my grief and anger. Isolation can increase our sense of despair and pessimism.  Research has shown that when we are pessimistic, we perceive that stressors are more unmanageable and problems are more difficult to solve. Isolation and pessimism lowers our resilience.  So, I am making a plan to connect with my tribe – those people who tend to share my experience. Consider doing the same. Sharing our experience helps us process our collective pain so that we can channel our emotions into action. And, taking action (even something very small) helps us feel more in control.

With 7 days to go, there is still plenty of time to mentally prepare for the outcome of the election- in between phone banking, texting and volunteering at the polls of course!

The post Preparing for Election Results – 3 Psychological Strategies To Get You Through The Outcome Of The Election appeared first on DKS Consulting Group.

Thanks Boston University Alumni Association for hosting us and broadcasting our webinar, The Secret To Thriving At Work – A Positive Psychology Approach

In this webinar you will learn

• How happiness is essential for success.
• How you can shift your mindset.
• The strategies that happy people practice.

Our hope for this webinar is that you will learn how positively shifting your mindset can help you see possibility where you didn’t see it before.

Click here to watch now.

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The Institute on Workplace Bullying  surveyed over 4200 individuals and found one third report being bullied at work and half report witnessing workplace bullying. They define workplace bullying as, “repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators that takes one or more of the following forms:

1) Verbal abuse,

2) Offensive conduct/behaviors (including nonverbal) which are threatening, humiliating, or intimidation,

3) Work interference — sabotage — which prevents work from getting done.

What to do about bullying is a real challenge for managers. Typically this behavior does not rise to an unlawful level, nor does it violate workplace policies.  The bully is often a productive and valuable worker.  So managers and employees don’t think they have any options. Yet, it is clear that this type of negative workplace behavior and culture broadly affects employee morale, engagement, and productivity.

So, given that workplace bullying is a significant problem, what can be done about it?

Recently, we were brought into a bullying situation in a medium-sized software company.  The HR director and the in-house counsel believed they needed an intervention from psychologists and an outside lawyer.  They did not want to fire the employee because he was the principal architect on a critical product.  John, the bullying software engineer was a large, imposing, presence who intimidated anyone who did not agree with him.  He would berate his underlings for making simple mistakes, publicly humiliate them during staff meetings, and stand in their office with his arms folded and glaring while they tried to do their work.  John’s bullying behavior reached a tipping point when he had a “melt down” after the release of his product failed at an important trade show. It was shortly after this event, that we were called in to help.

Our coaching process is grounded in Positive Psychology, the science of understanding the strengths, skills, and values that enable individuals to thrive.  People do not change by focusing on all the ways they are failing.  People change when they have the inner strength, confidence, and skills to risk doing things differently.

Our intervention with John began with the positive. We asked him to share his story, and we listened. The act of listening fully and hearing John’s side of story without interruption, accomplished three things: It showed John that we respected his point of view, it gave us valuable insight into John’s thinking, and it calmed him down so that he could hear our input.

Our assessment showed that John struggled with both individual and organizational issues. Individually, John struggled with controlling his emotional reactivity, communicating effectively, and finding positive solutions to conflicts.  He also felt insecure and extremely stressed because he had been passed over for a promotion and was worried about his future in the company.

As is often the case with bullies, John felt he was the victim. He felt victimized by his manager who did not recommend him for a promotion, he felt victimized by his peers who excluded him from meetings, and he felt victimized by his subordinates who he believed were sabotaging his work.

We helped John identify his true skills and strengths, and found a way for him to bring them to his work situation. By approaching John in this way, and focusing on increasing his confidence and working with skills that he already had, we were able to engage him in coaching to change his bullying behavior.

You might be thinking, “Shouldn’t you be pointing out the bully’s bad behavior and tell him to stop?”  You wouldn’t be alone. Many managers, including John’s, use this approach when dealing with bullies. However, they quickly find that this strategy simply does not result in behavioral change. Positive Psychology offers an alternative approach, shifting a bully’s mindset from “I am a victim and need to intimidate to get my way” to “I have real skills and strengths that I can use to achieve my goals.”  And over time, this strengths-based consulting approach can result in significant and lasting change.

One of John’s strengths was the meticulous way he wrote software code and he cared that his team produced the same high level of work. We wanted John to maintain his high standards, but shift the way he motivated his team to accomplish them. We wanted John to learn to motivate his team by focusing on the positive. So we suggested the following strategy. Each day, John needed to say ten positive things about work to his colleagues. We had him put ten pennies in his left pants pocket. Each time John successfully made a positive work comment he was to transfer a penny to the other pocket. After about a week, several employees reported to management that John was easier to work with.  And John noticed that others on his team were producing better work than he previously realized.

We continued to work with John, providing him with more strategies to build specific skills: to control his emotional reactivity, communicate more effectively, and resolve conflict in more productive ways. These strategies improved John’s behavior and increased productivity from the team.

Bullying in the workplace is a widespread issue and many managers feel there’s nothing they can do. But our experience is that positive psychology coaching can turn this situation around.

The post Got a Bully in Your Workplace? Positive Psychology Coaching Can Help. appeared first on DKS Consulting Group.

We recently worked with a small marketing firm that has more clients and more work that the team could presently handle.  Here are three ways we helped them get a grip on their situation, and move forward:

1) First, we recommended they do a thorough brain dump of every single task each person is doing and approximately how much time is spent doing each.  This is a critical first step because it allows the members of the organization to a) step back and take a complete view of the total work load b) understand which tasks are the biggest time drain c) bring clarity to the situation which then allows for problem solving.

2) The second step was to guide them in an exercise that enabled them to mentally jump out of the problem situation.  We asked them to imagine how the organization would be functioning in an ideal world with all the current problems solved.  We asked, “if your business was functioning exactly how you want it, what would it look like – in detail? What would you be doing differently? What would you be doing the same? What would you no longer be doing?

3) Third, we strategized ways to sensibly scale up their business.  What tasks does each person like to do, do well, and want to continue doing?  What tasks does each person need to do because they possess the skill to do it?  Which tasks should they stop doing altogether because they are not a productive use of their time? And finally, what tasks can they either hire in someone to do or contract out.

Scaling up you business can be both exciting and scary.  We like to think of “too much business” as one of those “lucky problems”.  So, if you are struggling with too much work, it’s time to call in the experts so you can move your business successfully forward.

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